Talking to Kids about Gender Identity by Mark Yarhouse

February 25, 2024 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

Mark Yarhouse continues to be my favorite author on sexuality and adolescence. Such a strong balance of theological knowledge and professional counseling experience and insights.

In Talking to Kids about Gender Identity, Yarhouse does a great job of explaining the major concepts and labels surrounding gender identity to parents as well as giving solid advice on how to have conversations with their children. What is helpful is the combination of real world stories and hypothetical conversations where he helps parents see effective and ineffective approaches they can take.

Yarhouse writes, “Our exchanges should be a mixture of convictions, civility, and compassion, and we should pray for wisdom, discernment, and prudence in how we carry and embody this mixture in our exchanges with others and in what we model for our children.” (p57) He goes on to say, “Whenever we speak about ‘what God thinks’ about something – anything – we should do so with humility, because we may not get it perfectly right.” (p60) I believe he draws a good roadmap for parents to follow in understanding the topic and in preparing parents for conversations with their kids.

I found myself highlighting my way through the book and see myself referring to these highlights time and again. I definitely recommend this book to any parents looking for help in understanding gender identity and talking with their kids about it. In reality, with how much children and teens are hearing and talking about gender identity, parents in general would do well to be proactive and read this kind of book while their kids are young so they are in a better place to navigate conversations before they happen.

Womanist Midrash by Wilda C. Gafney

December 30, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

I just finished reading Womanist Midrash: A Reintroduction to the Women of the Torah and the Throne by Rev. Dr. Wilda C. Gafney, and wow, it’s a must for Old Testament libraries. Her scholarship is really strong, the insights are invaluable, and I found myself provoked over and over to rethink passages I’ve glossed over in the past.

Womanist Midrash is essentially a commentary, but it reads much smoother than most commentaries. The purpose of this commentary is to approach passages in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) and passages in the Old Testament that deal with women connected to the throne with a womanist perspective and intent. Gafney explains womanism in this way: “Womanism emerged as black women’s intellectual and interpretive response to racism and classism in feminism and its articulation and in response to sexism in black liberationist thought.”

What makes this approach so invaluable is that Gafney notices and expands on nuances in the text often missed by male commentators. It is too easy to fall into just reading white male theologians; yes, they have their place and value, but a more diverse set of voices brings a much fuller picture of what God communicates in His scriptures.

I love this commentary; going forward it will be one of my sources I always consult with in addition to my other commentaries before teaching or preaching on anything from the Old Testament. Normally I don’t read commentaries cover to cover but this one was worth it. Definitely a must for students of the scriptures.

2023 Writing in Review

December 26, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

2023 is a wrap! It was a fun year for writing; I got to be a part of the launch for Coleader, the new curriculum resource from the crew behind Download Youth Ministry, as well as continue creating for DYM. 2023 saw ten curriculum resources released on Coleader, as well as two for the Coleader Roadmaps (I wrote HABITS, rewrote Rewind), six curriculum resources released at DYM, 34 games and 17 countdown video resources published on Download Youth Ministry. My youngest, Zach, was the brains behind Adam’s Name Game, Heather cocreated Hashtag Bunny Bounce. It was definitely the year of the Dancing Beast – those countdown videos were downloaded and reviewed waaay more than I ever would have anticipated. Click the images below to check everything out!

Coleader Curriculum Series:

Coleader Roadmaps:

Download Youth Ministry Curriculum:

Download Youth Ministry Games & Media:

2023 McNutt Family Christmas Letter

December 23, 2023December 23, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

Can I call it a Family Christmas Letter if no actual letters are being sent?

2023 has been a wild ride that went by way too fast! Here’s the recap …

Micah is 22 and in his junior year at UD. He’s majoring in history, minoring in computer science. He’s also a shift lead at the Starbucks by our church. He’s had a busy year but it’s been fun watching him juggle the different responsibilities. He’s also putting together a camping trip for he and his brothers this January that should be freezing … Heather and I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

Caleb is 20 and in his second year at Salisbury University. He hasn’t declared a major yet, but is enjoying school. He plays rugby … most of the time. Earlier this fall he took a hit to his knee that ended up shredding his meniscus and resulted in a painful surgery and months of physical therapy (that are still going on). He is looking forward to getting back to 100% so he can play rugby again … sheesh.

Noah is 17 (almost 18!) and a junior in high school. He’s been working hard at El Diablo Burritos and saving up to build his own food truck. He is determined to end up in the restaurant industry! Last June, he and I were on a mission trip together to Bethel, Alaska, which was amazing and a truly unique experience.

Zach is 15 and a freshmen in high school. It really threw me off the first time I went to a middle school youth group event and didn’t have any of my own kids attending! He’s been working hard on his school work and has also gotten involved with the theater program serving on the stage crew. He loves building and being behind the scenes and is already talking about the next production.

Last June, Heather wrapped up nine years of homeschooling each of our sons through their middle school years. I’m blown away by all the work she put it into it and grateful that our sons had the time with her. Heather and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary last November, hit our 15th anniversary of being a part of Brandywine Valley Church, and I am in my second of a three year doctoral program at Palmer Theological Seminary.

In other news, Heather continues to film birds in our backyard. Biscuit, our eleven year old bearded dragon is definitely showing his age (they live 10-15 years), and our herd of guinea pigs (we have four) continues to lose their minds every time we open the fridge.

Also, for the record, Noah is NOT the tallest (yet). He bragged about standing on his toes for the above photo when we got it back. Sheesh.

My Christmas Resources

December 7, 2023December 18, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

I have a handful of Christmas resources that I have created – and a couple that Heather created with me – that may be useful during this time of year! The images below are all links to where they are located on the Download Youth Ministry store. Check them out! And come back to this post next week … I’ll be adding some more releases to it as they come out!

God with the Fearful is a one-off message based on Matthew 1:18-25 focusing on God’s promises to Joseph to save him and be with him in his fear. It includes a manuscript, handouts, PowerPoint, and a discussion guide.

The following are some games I’ve created that are fun as part of your regular program or a Christmas party (Heather cocreated the Caption Challenge and Hashtag Sleigh Ride games!):

The following are social media resources, video resources, and Christmas themed countdown videos that can be used in person or online:

Super Short Book Reviews

September 6, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

Roadmap to Reconciliation 2.0: Moving Communities into Unity, Wholeness and Justice by Brenda Salter McNeil. I enjoyed this one; Brenda Salter McNeil lays out a powerful case for the need for reconciliation in churches in America and points the reader in the direction of how that might be achieved. The challenge will be seeing enough Christians understand the need to build “reconciling communities of racial, etheric, class and gender diversity.” Far too many white evangelicals are comfortable with how things are now or refuse to even acknowledge that there is still much work to be done.

Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church by Nijay K. Gupta. This is a great introductory book to women in the Bible. Gupta does a great job of surveying scripture and explaining ancient culture and practices, helping the reader to gain insights. I appreciated his process and approach. As he points out, “there is ample evidence inside and outside the New Testament that women were actively involved in ministry, at the frontier of the gospel mission, as respected leaders in the church, and even as primary leaders of household congregations.” Yet as Beth Allison Barr points out in her foreword, the problem too often has been our ability to notice or see these women.

Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters by Abigail Shrier. Awful book. It’s been a while since I’ve been this frustrated with something I’ve read. I read it because of the volume of reviews it has, but I was incredibly disappointed. Her tone is sarcastic and mocking, her primary source seems to be angry parents who have lost their relationships with their trans kids, and she has no significant background or expertise in the subject yet presents her opinions as fact. Yes, there is a trend of “rapid onset gender dysphoria” happening in adolescents that does warrant discussion and study, but this book is not the answer. Adopting her tone will achieve the same result as so many in her book; lost relationships. A far better alternative? Anything by Mark Yarhouse on the topic.

Noah and Zach’s 2023 Missions Reports

August 25, 2023 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

I always love hearing my sons share about their mission trips! This past June I was on a team with Noah that went to Bethel, Alaska, while Zach went on a mission trip to Billerica, MA. Heather also served as a leader on another team that we sent to Anchorage, Alaska!

Anyway, this post is waaaay overdue! These are the reports they shared with the church on June 25th, 2023.

2022 Writing in Review

December 27, 2022December 27, 2022 Matthew McNutt1 Comment

2022 is almost a wrap! I continue to have a lot of fun creating youth ministry resources. 2022 saw ten curriculum resources published and 30 game and/or media resources published, all through Download Youth Ministry. My youngest, Zach, was the brains behind both of the Dare Tag 2 and the Mind Reader games. Heather created the Fire countdown video and co-authored the Caption Challenge games with me. Click the images below to check them out!

Curriculum:

Games & Video Resources:

My Christmas Resources!

December 2, 2022 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

God With the Fearful is a one-off Christmas message based on Matthew 1:18-25 focusing on God’s promises to Joseph to save him and be with him in his fear. It includes a message manuscript, handouts, discussion questions, PowerPoint file, and images for social media.

Christmas Movie Trivia the Sequel title image

Hashtag Sleigh Ride, Christmas Movie Trivia, Christmas Movie Trivia The Sequel, Mind Reader Christmas, and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition are all games that can be played in person or online. Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition both include versions for Instagram as well! Heather and I co-authored Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition.

Strange Holidays is a fun collection of seasonal social media images and challenges that can be used, one per week, for the months of December, January, and February! The Christmas Scripture Video five pack has five typography videos with Christmas related scripture passages – at $6 for all five videos, it’s an incredible deal! They are all licensed to be used in person and online, so they can be used as worship elements, or even just social media videos in the buildup to Christmas. See the video below to see what they are:

Reflections on Youth Ministry and Dropping My Son Off at College

September 14, 2022 Matthew McNuttLeave a comment

This blog post, by me, originally appeared on the Download Youth Ministry blog.

A few weeks ago my wife Heather and I drove away from the university campus we had just left our second son at, tears on both our faces, making the long drive home. Weren’t we just changing his diapers? Our football lineman was once so small.

I’m so thankful to be a youth pastor.

My wife and I jumped into full time ministry 21 years ago as newlyweds. We had our first of four sons three days before our first anniversary. The youth group called him “Cletus the Fetus.” Heather wasn’t as impressed as I was with their baby naming skills. Having my own children move through our student ministry has been an eye-opening and perspective changing experience for me. For a brief moment, all four of them were in our youth group at the same time – now we’re down to just two as the older two have graduated and moved on. Here a just a few reasons I love student ministry as a father and why I think it was so critical for my son we just left at a college too far away:

My son loves the church. I couldn’t say the same when I was a teen. In fact, it was right around his age that I swore off faith altogether. I was a pastor’s kid who hated what I had seen and experienced. My wife and I have always had as one of our barometers for health whether our kids like our church – not just the children’s ministry or the student ministry, but the church as a whole.

My son has a crew of loving Christian adults in his life. Mama Lin (Willie), Ed, and Figgy (Mike) spent the last seven years as his small group leader, showing up to events, visiting him at his job, and listening to all his stories. Those three men created an environment that built trust, loyalty, and incredible spiritual growth with a group of – what seemed at first to be challenging – Christian young men. There’s Kim, Carl, Melissa, and so many more who also serve in our student ministry. The best part? I got to choose them. I’m the youth pastor. Why do I put so much care into who is a part of our student ministry? How often do we get the opportunity to choose the adults who influence our children?

My son knows how to serve, to lead, to study scripture, to have accountability, to find other believers. He’s not perfect. I’m sure there are going to be moments in his college experience I would rather not know about. But I got to plan the seven years of his student ministry; it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and staying in one place for all these years meant I got to see it through from beginning to end. I have seen my son lead worship, I’ve launched him off the blob, I’ve done street evangelism with him in Costa Rica, we’ve fed the homeless together on the border with Mexico, I’ve wrestled and beat him many times … and been beaten by him a few times in recent months.

Youth ministry is a gift. We get to be present during the most transformative time in peoples’ lives. Everything is bigger, everything is exploding, everything is new. And we get to be there. We get to see children go from concrete thinkers emulating their parents to teens processing and making their faith their own. My house is quieter than I would like now, but I feel good about where my son is at, literally and figuratively. I couldn’t imagine not having been his youth pastor!